With the release of the 2021
West Side Story reimagined, and watching my four year old granddaughter fall in
love with the music, I can't help but recall my experience performing in the
show.
It was 1984. I had just
gone through one of the biggest heartaches I would ever experience and knew
that I needed to get out of the house and involved in "something". I
didn't know what exactly, but I did know I had to be very busy to help me
through the hurt.
I picked up a copy of
either Drama Logue or Variety, not sure which, and started the search. My guess
is, it had been a year, possibly two, since I'd done a show. One thing I was
sure of, doing a show always opens the door to new experiences and new friends.
I didn't want to sit and stew, and I certainly didn't want to hang out
with friends and go through the when's and why's of my recent breakup. So, as I
looked through the audition posts, I knew I would be best in a
musical.
I found an audition for
West Side Story, in Monrovia. Not sure where Monrovia was, I pulled out my
trusty old Thomas Brothers Map and looked it up. I lived in Pico Rivera and The
Old Towne Theater in Monrovia was a little over 16 miles from home. Not bad.
I'd done shows further than that, so, okay, without any preparation, I made up
my mind then and there I would go get the part of Anita.
I must preface this by
saying that a few years prior to this, I had auditioned for the part of Anita
at Downey Civic Light Opera. I read for the part but without even a blink of
the eye, the casting people said 'thank you' and sent me on my merry way. Uh,
well...not so merry. I felt I had read well and didn't understand why they
wouldn't see me dance or sing. Either way, I walked out the way I went in, and
there saw about 3 people I'd previously done shows with. They asked why I was
leaving and I explained. They stood there with their mouths open and said that
they couldn't believe I wouldn't even be considered, as I was so perfect for
the part. Of course, I agreed but, there was nothing to be done. I knew as so
many do, that sometimes parts are precast and they're just going through the
motion of making it look as if it weren't the case.
Come the night of
auditions at Old Towne, I run home from work, change my clothes and, as I
mentioned before, without preparation, head into the theater ready to be cast
as Anita. I read and danced; so far, so good. I sing... things are still
looking good. It felt like the director spent a little extra time with me, so I
was feeling especially confident. A few days later I get the phone call asking
me to be in the chorus. WHAT! There is no way I expected to hear that. The
truth of the matter is, I really wanted to tell them to shove it....well, you
know where. But I really didn't want to sit and stew about yet another thing
so, I accepted the part.
Up until this point, I had
only done chorus once before in any show, and that was because the director and
choreographer lovingly begged me to stay with the show because "we'll have
so much fun". I had been blessed to have leading parts and quite frankly
knew I could perform at that level. But as I accepted that part of chorus, even
though I felt I deserved the part of Anita, I still had the desire to be out of
the house and involved in something I loved.
Fast forward a month, or
whatever it took to get the show up, we open, run for a few weekends and there
I am, in the chorus, just happy to be involved in something and out of the
house and my head.
One night, I'm up on stage
all by myself, stretching and warming up for dancing when the director comes
running down the center aisle, from the lobby area. She runs directly to me and
tells me to stop what I'm doing, get backstage, read lines, run through songs
and prepare because tonight, I'm Anita. Of course I'm shocked. I wasn't
understudying. I knew the show inside and out because when I was young, the
first time I saw West Side it became my favorite musical. I could relate to the
culture, even though my siblings and I weren't nearly as tied to our Hispanic roots
as I would have liked and were 2nd generation Americans, I could relate.
Nonetheless, I was familiar with the music, my grandmother having had a live
orchestra, playing Spanish standards and my parents, aunts and uncles dancing Cha
Cha, merengue and salsa at every family party.
Still, when I'm told I
have an hour to prepare for a part that until that moment I could only have
dreamt of doing, I'm doing it!
No time to search for
costumes or run lines. Talk about flying by the seat of your pants! There's not
a whole lot of context to recall, just flashes of moments, people guiding me to
the correct entrance, setting me up for my next line by indirectly feeding me
information, eyes shifting toward the direction I should move, Bernardo
mistakenly slipping me the tongue during a stage kiss (because he, as he later
explained, got caught up in the intensity of the moment) and my back, after a
series of turns and dips, feeling like I might never walk again. The scene in
Doc's pharmacy was so real to me, I honestly felt fear that I would be
physically attacked. And yet, with all the action, all the wondering if I would
know what to do or say next, not one ounce of fear or nervousness. There was no
time. I've had mishaps on stage, but never this. This was an experience
that gave me a new appreciation, not only for what I found I was capable of but
for what a cast working for the goal of a successful show could do.
Backstage after each exit,
I received nothing but smiles, congratulations and praise by everyone as I was
being pushed, pulled and dressed for the next entrance.
And when the show was over, the
audience poured their love into me. The cast poured their love into me. I felt
like I had just climbed Everest.
I can recall walking out of the
theater, into the lobby area having strangers come up to me with "thanks
for such a wonderful performance", "I've never seen a more believable
Anita", "You were sooo good". I will never forget the
feeling...ever!
I was later told that the person
originally cast and playing Anita, had planned to take that night off to attend
her High School reunion. She just didn't tell anyone in advance.
What happened next:
After that night, and I don't remember
if we had a show on Saturday or Sunday or not, or if we did, if I played Anita
the next day or next weekend. What I do recall is the person who was originally
cast as Anita, coming back. She wanted to know what was going to happen.
Somehow the decision was made that she and I would switch off and on until the
end of the run. There was talk and a lot of it. Not by me, but by others. Apparently,
she heard from a lot of the cast and others at the theater that my performance
was very well received. After a few days, she called me. When I received her
call, I wasn't sure what to expect; was she mad, did she want me to drop the
show...I had no idea. Turns out, she felt unworthy of continuing. People
were talking and telling her that I really shined that night and she didn't
feel she could own the part as I had and that she was a disappointment. I
waited to respond. What a predicament. But after much thought, I told her, and
I'm going to paraphrase because I don't remember my exact words, but I do
remember the sentiment, D..., do not walk away from this part. You fought to
get it and yes, you made a mistake by deciding to take a night off without any
plan, but, if you love the theater as you say you do, take this as a lesson and
push yourself to be the best Anita you can be. We talked for a while and she
came back to do the show for a few more performances. In the end she walked
away. She said, she could see how I understood Anita in a way she could not and
that even though she had tried her best, she could feel the difference in the
casts performance with her. I was torn. I was definitely thrilled to be
taking over the part but sad for her. Sad that she had given up and not fought
to prove, if not only to herself, that she could learn and grow. Every character
an actor takes on brings with it the opportunity to grow, in character and as a
person.
Anyway, before I get too deep into acting
101, I just wanted to share one of my top 10 experiences on stage. As a person.
As an actress. As the character.
I’m old now, I’ll never live the life
of Anita again, but that won’t stop me from living through the memories Anita
gave me. She was bold, and courageous, daring and even sexy, without shame. I
fear I might have left most of her on stage.
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