I don't know about you, but when I was a kid I can remember reading about bobbing for apples. Norman Rockwell drew pictures with children Bobbing for apples, childrens books featured children bobbing for apples and apparently every halloween party bobbed for apples...so I find it odd, I never, ever attended one of those events.
How is it bobbing for apples was the thing to do, yet I never experienced it. Was I just not invited to those parties? Was my jaw line weak? Was my bite off? Why was I never included in an event where bobbing would take place?
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| Everyone got into the act... |
For many years I tried to push the idea down. You know, kinda put my past behind me, but the truth is, we all know what happens when you don't deal with the tragedies of life. I began to look for apples in all the wrong places. I mean, come on...even Eve was involved in the apple game.
Fast forward many years later and I'm planning a church picnic. Now that I think back, it was no coincidence that I would be the picnic planner (God has a way of putting things in our life to allow us to work out the pains, doesn't He?). So I start making a list of games the kids can play at this picnic and there it is...Bobbing for Apples! Why should my kids experience the pain, lonliness and heartbreak that comes from exclusion...I'm doing this game!
The day of the picnic arrives and I announce the next game...'Bobbing for Apples', I yell out. Kids come scrambling from every corner of the park, even a dog is in line, there is so much excitement. The line is longer than you can imagine.
My my daughter Jenifer is first in line. Jenifer is a competitor, she will win no matter the cost. She steps up to bat...uhhh, rather to bob and I can see the excitement in her eyes, she's gonna do this! Ten apples later and with time to spare, she's pulled every apple out of that tub; she's the one to beat.
Well, kid after kid steps up, gives it a try and comes up short...Jeni is standing on the sidelines waiting to see who might come even close. As the line shortens the enthusiasm does not diminish. Every kid steps up with the same excitment and suredness as the previous. It's looking good for Jenifer until a kid with a neck longer than Jenifer's entire body steps up. I'm thinking 'this kid should be disqualified here and now, he's got no right to....to...to what?'. I can't find any reason to punk him right out of there. Instead, I step back, fake a smile and begin the count. I want Jenifer to win. I want this kid to go down and never, ever, ever come back up...ever. He starts pulling apples out...one, two, three....it's not looking good...Jenifer is starting to sweat, I wipe her brow, we lock eyes and ...four, five...this monster! Who brought this kid? Someone please accuse him of something before it's too late! Can't we get the city involved...I need the park handbook, it's very possible this game has been banned in public places...then I notice that his face is not dripping of water, it's more like....SLIME...goobery, thick, saliva water. We haven't changed the water this entire time. Oh yuck!!
While my mouth is attempting to say something gross, my brain is hoping that if I can just hold the disgust back for a few moments longer, maybe, just maybe the kid with the body length neck may come up with a quick case of diptheria and after the paramedics wisk the kid off to the hospital Jenifer can be crowned winner...
Just when it starts looking like Mr. Longneck may not be coming back up, one of the kids cheering giraff child on also notices the thickness of the water and starts a riot...well, not a riot, but...he strongly suggests we change the water. The trouble maker! Kill joy! Personally, I think he was a plant. He wants Jenifer to lose. The world has been plotting against her! How could I not have seen it???
Well...As much as I hate to admit it, giraffe neck won. It's over. Jenifer has come in second and life is just not fair. This day is proof. As much as I know this, I will never give up trying to find fault in how this kid, with the neck deformity, took Jenifers title.
