Sunday, May 23, 2010

Today's news

This morning Juan Carlos and I sat down to, that's not the news...after we had breakfast I cleaned everything up and waited a while to wake Karina as she was out a little late because she went to the band banquet last night.

Around 10a.m. I woke her up so she could eat something and get ready for a rehearsal with a little performing group she's just joined.  She asked for french toast so I gladly made it, even though I'd just finished cleaning.  I sat down with her because, I like to take that time to sit and chat with her.

We talked about little things and I sat and watched her eat, delighted at how she enjoyed her meal.  I could tell she was in deep thought but didn't quite know what it was and figured she'd tell me eventually.  She stops, puts her fork down and looking me straight in the eye says "Mom, can I tell you something?"  Far be it from me to say no, so I said "sure, if you want".  She starts out with "I hope you don't get mad, but last night xxx asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes.  Are you mad?" 

The last time she asked me if she could be someone's girlfriend she prefaced it with "You know how much I like xxx right?  Well, he's gonna ask you and dad if I can be his girlfriend".  I was delighted at the idea that that conversation had taken place before the big decision was made.  They'd decided that they would never be alone, never go out alone and would only hold hands.  His parents were aware that he was going to ask her and that he wanted to talk to us first.  So, we went through the warming up of the idea, and then waited for the day.  We all talked and decided it would be okay.

So the guy who had the whole thing worked out and talked out before he would accept her as a girlfriend eventually invites her over his house (with his parents and siblings there) and the relationship was on it's way.  This is a kid who goes to her youth group, I know his parents and so I talked to them and we were all in agreement that it would be ok.  Fast forward two weeks later, he calls her and breaks up with her over the phone because seeing her once or twice a week is not enough and he just can't take it.  So much for all the talk buddy.  My little girl is heart broken.

So here we are at the kitchen table and she tells me, doesn't ask, just tells me she said yes to this guy.  I already know him because he's been going with her to youth group.  And seeing as how I always give a group a kids a ride to group and then home, he asks me to go in and meet his mom.  Ahhh, I'm thinking this guys got something up his sleeve.  Us mom's know this stuff.

So, what am I to say?  I start with "no, I'm not mad, but .... and I tell her that the same rules apply, no going out alone, no hanging out at school alone, no, no, no....".  She sat and listened and then said "I know mom".  This is when I tell her how proud I am that she's so honest with me because I am AND because I just wanna cement the idea in that I'm not gonna let my guard down and she shouldn't either.

I asked if she'd told her dad, knowing darn well she hadn't, and she said no, but I will.  Now I ask, what do you do with a 15.9 year old who wants to have a boyfriend, is open with her parents about the whole thing and always trys to do the right thing?  You can hardly say no.  I mean, I guess I could but what would that accomplish?  I dont' want her sneaking around, but I'd rather she didn't have a boyfriend either.  If I say no, she just might stop being as open with me....I really don't want her to sneak about. 

He's a nice kid, not exactly who I would have picked for her but look what happened with the guy I would have picked!  And here's the interesting thing; he'd asked her before but she said no because she still wasn't over the first kid and Thursday night on the way home when I gave one of her other guy friends a ride home he asked me, how should I break up with a girl who I'm seeing when I shouldn't have started going out with her in the first place.  Karina pipped in and said "you didn't even know her that well when you started seeing her.  You should have gotten to know her before you asked her to be your girlfriend".  He says "I know, that was dumb cause now I don't want to hurt her but the truth is we're not compatable".  Karina tells him make sure you don't do it over the phone, be a man about it and face her, after all, it was your mistake.  Geez!  I'm impressed.  Of course she was speaking from experience.

I don't think I'm ready for this.

So, there's the news.  My daughter has a boyfriend and that's that.  Don't you hate it when you get a taste of what your parents had to go through.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Before and After.....

What, you ask?  A reunion of my college theater friends. 

Next Saturday, May 1st, we'll be getting together for a picture reunion.  This doesn't mean only pictures will be there, we, the bodies will be there but we're all taking pictures from shows and travels we did/took together.

I'm scared.  Seriously scared.  See, unlike anyone else, I've aged and gotten "chunky", I've turned into someone's mom and it makes me look old.  Darn!  As my comadre and I have been known to say "remember when we used to walk down the street and guys would look at us".  Those days are G.O.N.E., gone.  If they look now it's because they're simply dumb founded at how we were able to get into our pants without tearing them at the seams.

I know, just know, just know that all my friends stayed young looking, wrinkle free and beautiful.  Even the ugly ones, they're beautiful now.  Albiet through the magic of plastic surgery, I don't care, they're beautiful.  I've lost my charm.  I've lost my figure.  I've lost my mind!  How can I raise the money, get counseling, have surgery and recover before next Saturday.  How can I, how can I, how, how, how?

Okay, maybe I'm not all that worried.  It's just that lately, I look in the mirror and see jowels.  I swear they weren't there last year.  I was looking at a magazine and saw a bull dog.  I immediately reached for the phone to call a lawyer because I thought someone used my picture without my signing a release.

Do I sound crazed?  I'm quite normal, I'm just not ready to start looking old and I seriously don't think it happened until just 3 days ago.  Before then, I looked hot.....kinda.  Especially if you squinted when you looked at me.  Now, today, here, you could stand on your head and I'd still look old.

What to do?  Well, I'm gonna go face the music.  Which is not to say I'm not gonna buy a girdle or color my hair, have my eyebrows threaded and my nails painted.  Shoot, I might even buy new underwear cause you never know, what if I have an accident there and someone see's my underwear.  All kinda accidents happen at our age you, like...well, have you ever sneezed unexpectedly and ....oh, never mind.  I can't bring myself to say it, but you know what I'm talking about.

One time my family was at a picnic and one of the kids made me laugh unexpectedly....I made a bee line for the bathrooms.  It was my first experience with the weak bladder thingy.  I was shocked.  I thought something was desperately wrong and that's when I first discovered I was aging.  I still curse that day.  The first of my old age experiences.

Don't worry, I'm not digging my grave yet but I wish I could have appreciated my youth when I had it.  I wish I could have appreciated the smaller bum I once had, or the wrinkle free face.  I don't get it, they come up with gadgets for everything, why can't they design something to hide wrinkles?  A girlfriends sister and brother in-law used to put preperation-H on their faces.  I found out one day when I went to their house and the subject of wrinkles came up.  They all started laughing except me.  I guess I had a suspicious look on my face, not knowing what they were laughing at so rather than let me stand there in the dark, they told me about their preperation H treatments.  Maybe I should run out and buy some of that but, will people recognize the scent and then think I've been kissing butt?

Wish me well.  I'm scared but I can do this.  I'll just smile and hope they don't notice the wrinkles and if they do, I'll lie.  I'll tell them I'm a victim of some strange new disease......I can lie.  I can, I can, I can.

You guys are crazy!  You had me all worried about what people would think, how they'd point and laugh.  How I'd be the only one with wrinkles and extra padding on the bottom side....side, side....back side and front side.  I'm not sure what you had my friends made out to be but if they laughed, they hid it well.  It's nice to know they had enough respect for the aging process to accept me like I am.

I had a BLAST!  We laughed, we cried, we saw slides of old shows, we ate, we drank.  But most of all, we knew it was there...the old feelings all came back.  It was as if we'd seen each other just yesterday.  If I have any complaints, it's that one evening was not enough.  I felt like I got only a few minutes with each person and after over 20 years, a few minutes just ain't enough.

The great thing is, we've reconnected and believe me, time was not wasted.  People are getting together to hang out, see plays, go to the movies,'s great.  Facebook pulled through for us by providing the perfect tool with which to seek out and connect with people we'd lost touch with.  Everyone looked great and it was an evening I'll never forget.