Before and After.....

BEFORE:
What, you ask?  A reunion of my college theater friends. 

Next Saturday, May 1st, we'll be getting together for a picture reunion.  This doesn't mean only pictures will be there, we, the bodies will be there but we're all taking pictures from shows and travels we did/took together.

I'm scared.  Seriously scared.  See, unlike anyone else, I've aged and gotten "chunky", I've turned into someone's mom and it makes me look old.  Darn!  As my comadre and I have been known to say "remember when we used to walk down the street and guys would look at us".  Those days are G.O.N.E., gone.  If they look now it's because they're simply dumb founded at how we were able to get into our pants without tearing them at the seams.

I know, just know, just know that all my friends stayed young looking, wrinkle free and beautiful.  Even the ugly ones, they're beautiful now.  Albiet through the magic of plastic surgery, I don't care, they're beautiful.  I've lost my charm.  I've lost my figure.  I've lost my mind!  How can I raise the money, get counseling, have surgery and recover before next Saturday.  How can I, how can I, how, how, how?

Okay, maybe I'm not all that worried.  It's just that lately, I look in the mirror and see jowels.  I swear they weren't there last year.  I was looking at a magazine and saw a bull dog.  I immediately reached for the phone to call a lawyer because I thought someone used my picture without my signing a release.

Do I sound crazed?  I'm quite normal, I'm just not ready to start looking old and I seriously don't think it happened until just 3 days ago.  Before then, I looked hot.....kinda.  Especially if you squinted when you looked at me.  Now, today, here, you could stand on your head and I'd still look old.

What to do?  Well, I'm gonna go face the music.  Which is not to say I'm not gonna buy a girdle or color my hair, have my eyebrows threaded and my nails painted.  Shoot, I might even buy new underwear cause you never know, what if I have an accident there and someone see's my underwear.  All kinda accidents happen at our age you know.....like, like...well, have you ever sneezed unexpectedly and ....oh, never mind.  I can't bring myself to say it, but you know what I'm talking about.

One time my family was at a picnic and one of the kids made me laugh unexpectedly....I made a bee line for the bathrooms.  It was my first experience with the weak bladder thingy.  I was shocked.  I thought something was desperately wrong and that's when I first discovered I was aging.  I still curse that day.  The first of my old age experiences.

Don't worry, I'm not digging my grave yet but I wish I could have appreciated my youth when I had it.  I wish I could have appreciated the smaller bum I once had, or the wrinkle free face.  I don't get it, they come up with gadgets for everything, why can't they design something to hide wrinkles?  A girlfriends sister and brother in-law used to put preperation-H on their faces.  I found out one day when I went to their house and the subject of wrinkles came up.  They all started laughing except me.  I guess I had a suspicious look on my face, not knowing what they were laughing at so rather than let me stand there in the dark, they told me about their preperation H treatments.  Maybe I should run out and buy some of that but, will people recognize the scent and then think I've been kissing butt?

Wish me well.  I'm scared but I can do this.  I'll just smile and hope they don't notice the wrinkles and if they do, I'll lie.  I'll tell them I'm a victim of some strange new disease......I can lie.  I can, I can, I can.

AFTER:
You guys are crazy!  You had me all worried about what people would think, how they'd point and laugh.  How I'd be the only one with wrinkles and extra padding on the bottom side....side, side....back side and front side.  I'm not sure what you had my friends made out to be but if they laughed, they hid it well.  It's nice to know they had enough respect for the aging process to accept me like I am.

I had a BLAST!  We laughed, we cried, we saw slides of old shows, we ate, we drank.  But most of all, we knew it was there...the old feelings all came back.  It was as if we'd seen each other just yesterday.  If I have any complaints, it's that one evening was not enough.  I felt like I got only a few minutes with each person and after over 20 years, a few minutes just ain't enough.

The great thing is, we've reconnected and believe me, time was not wasted.  People are getting together to hang out, see plays, go to the movies, eat....it's great.  Facebook pulled through for us by providing the perfect tool with which to seek out and connect with people we'd lost touch with.  Everyone looked great and it was an evening I'll never forget.