Saturday, January 21, 2012

Weeding in more ways than one

Yes, I finally did the weeding in my little patio.  I've been saying I was going to do it for at least 2 weeks now.  I wish I had taken a picture to show you the "before", but, I forgot...
I put off pulling the "weeds" because they were really pretty.  I don't know what it is but it grows out long and tall and looks really lush.  I kinda felt like I was in the middle of a meadow every time I walked out my back door.  But alas, I was not.

So it took an hour to clean up; an hour for thought.  It was 3:00 when I started and about 4:15 when I finished filling two big 'ol black plastic trash bags.  I was terribly busy today so that hour stooped over was back breakingly healthy, because everything else I did required me to sit in front of the computer.

So I'm pulling weeds and I think that maybe pulling the weeds is symbolic of what and where I am at this moment of my life. After almost 20 years I'm very close to being divorced.  Just months away.  After five years of too much tolerance, divorce was the only solution.

There's a whole lot I won't say but I will say this, you can plant a really beautiful garden that flourishes with proper watering and care but sometimes there are things, under the top soil, things that look really good from the top.  Those uncovered things slowly destroy whats beautiful.  You can pull the undergrowth out but if you don't get past the top soil and to the roots, the problem never goes away and before you know it you're pulling weeds again.  It can go on for years, if you let it.

I never meant those weeds to grow out so much that they covered all my other plants but I was fooled by how nice they looked; it made me feel good.  I never wanted my relationship to end either...but the root went so deep.  I tried to end it but it wasn't until I realized only a court could help that I was finally able to make it happen.  Sad but true.


Debbie said...

This post makes me very sad.


Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

I have no words, only a heart that longs to see you again. Anita