Could it be?

Last night at 1 o'clock in the morning................wait, wait, wait...that makes no sense! Let me start again.


This morning, 1 o'clock a.m. to be exact, I found myself in the kitchen.  No idea why, I just walked myself on over and then stood there looking.  What the heck for, I have absolutely no idea.  While I was standing there dumbfounded at how I even got there, two friends immediately came to mind; Debbie and Bunny.  Reason being, these two long time friends (I no longer use the term "old friends"), recently expressed their inability to sleep at night.  Both admit they've been exposed to that dreadful, incurable plague "Midnight Munchie Syndrome".  While it's yet to be determined how one contacts such a plague, we do know that it attacks the body and mind around the same time as pre-menopausal symptoms hit.  As I stood there thinking I was suddenly hit with the image of those walking bodies in "Night of the Living Dead" except in our case, we're not looking to munch on bone....(oh, yuck!  I can't believe I said it) we're looking food, or whatever we can sink our chops into.


(I especially like the picture of the dead to the far right.  Is it a man, woman, he-she, what?  Looks like a skirt and breasts but it also looks like it has a moustache.  Of course hair does continue to grow after you die OR hit menopause!)

Normally a flour tortilla with butter or a piece of starchy white bread with peanut butter would do but this morning was different.  I craved something sinful.  Something my family would stop me from eating had they an inkling of my whereabouts.  And then as I opened the cupboard door I immediately realized what I'd come to do; down some Puffed Cheetos.

Five in total slipped down my throat all too quickly.  Before I could stop myself from sealing the bag back up, they were gone.  I turned and stalked out of the room angry at myself for not grabbing a handful, brushed my teeth and went to bed bearing the shame. 

I havent' been to the doctor yet but I'm beginning to wonder if I too am part of the pre-mem group.  I had a hystorectomy in 2000 but asked the doctor to leave my ovaries in if they looked ok.  Apparently they were quite a site to behold because they're still tucked away deep inside.  Last check-up I had the doctor burst my bubble when he told me they were "shrinking".  Of all the heartless things to say to a lady...some people just have no tact.

Like Debbie and Bunny I sleep much less than I used to and have been known to have hot flashes.  After my surgery I suffered one night of sweats but other than that, my mood only swings when I get a push.  And I'm perty even keel most of the time.  You might have to ask my husband and kids if it's proof you want, but I'm sure they'd tell you I'm the wicked witch reincarnate.  They lie.

I supppose I'll have to go to the doctor soon and find out if I can start blogging about living with menopause. Why should Debbie and Bunny have all the fun.