Move...I said Move that mailbox back right now!

I'm highly disappointed. The 9th of June we had a birthday party for Karina who turned 15. Although our house desperately needed to be painted, we we're just not able to do it in time for the party. No big deal, I'm quite over it. What I'm not over is the ridiculous rules one has got to follow in order to move their mailbox.

In preparation for the party, I actually went out and bought a new mailbox because about a year ago we started to get an accumulation of bird poop on it that was totally disgusting. The darn birds would land on the receptacle right in front of my very eyes. I felt like they were daring me to do something about it. Once, I even saw a little Sparrow stick his tongue out at me as I glanced at him out the front door. I know you don't believe me but it's true, really.

So, we hemmed and hawed about getting a new mail receptacle because we just couldn't see spending $25, at the very least, just to turn around and have these pesty little birdies do as they pleased on it. And since we haven't gotten around to painting, it just didn't seem like the right time. But with the party upon us, we just couldn't see leaving that nasty old thing hanging there and have all our guests arrive to think they were entering an aviary.

I ran out, purchased a receptacle and had JC move it just inside the porch (less than an arms length away) where everyone else in my neighborhood has theirs. This is Saturday afternoon.

Monday comes, no mail. I'm wondering what holiday I missed. Should I have made a cake? Did I forget to attend a parade? Darn, should there have been a gift involved?.......Tuesday comes, no mail, but there on the ground was a letter from none other than the U.S. Postal Service saying that my mail has been put on hold until I return the box to it's original location. I very innocently pick up the phone and call the local office. The manager says to me "you mean to tell me that you've been living there how long and just this last year the birds started pooping on your mailbox?". He, as you know, he's implying I'm lying. I don't like that he's questioning my bird tale and do everything within my power to keep from giving him a piece of my mind because...well, because I have very little left.

To make a long story short and spare you the "he said" and "she saids" of the story I'll just tell you, the mailbox is back on the pole awaiting it's first delivery and I pray it not be second encounter of a bird kind.

So bottom line is, if the mail carrier has to change her route due to a few feet, it'll throw her time off. As I said to the supervisor who took my call "So, she cannot step two feet to the right but she can stop at the end of the street to chat with a gentleman." Hmmmm, how is it, that didn't throw her route off? Seriously, when I say that this is an arms length away, I mean it. I cannot spread both arms out all the way because it's too close. I'm appalled at the idiocy of this.

Geez, I'm actually showing you guys how bad my house looks. But as you can see, two feet away.

I really don't think this has anything to do with the two feet or the moving of my mailbox. I think it has to do with an unhappy woman who's gonna make everyone pay. I feel sorry for her, I do. How miserable can she be that she'll make a big deal of this. She claims the stairs slow her down. The way I look at it, unless she's walking through my flower bed, if she takes the two stairs up, she's gotta take 'em back down. Or maybe she does a Michael Jordan and slam dunks the mail in the box. I'm gonna install a security camera, she just may be using my porch for basketball practice!