Saturday, March 20, 2010

Now that I can....I can't

You read right.....Now that I have flying privileges I don't have any time to travel. And by that I mean, I have no paid vacation time.

At my old job I had a months worth of vacation time because I'd been at the company for 10 years (which probably has a lot to do with why they walked me). Although I had a months time available, I had two problems: 1) No money to actually take a vacation and pay for flight, hotel and food and 2) I used all my vacation by staying with Karina in the hospital.

I have a job now but it doesn't pay well and I'm only part-time creating problem 1) No money, 2) Karina has been free of pancriatial pain for over a year now but I have no vacation time.

This probably sounds like I'm I'll admit, I am. I know that I've been blessed in a big way now that I have a job with insurance should Karina get sick. Oh no....I'm trying but I can't stop it.....Buuuuuut! .... I STILL HAVE NO VACATION TIME!!!

Something about this just ain't right. Funny thing is, everyone at work knows I started only January 25th and yet many have asked me if I've traveled yet. I know many people take short weekend trips so I suppose I should do that but that brings me back to the ever present problem 1) No money. If you've noticed, this seems to be a continual problem, always in the number 1 position.

What a crying shame, eh?!

In case it's crossed your mind, I'm not trying to get sympathy. Not at all...I just need to dig out of the hole I've been digging into for the last two years.

The other day Carlos and I were talking and he said "remember when I used to have a lot of work and clients and guys working with or for me?” just days before Karina said "mom, remember when we used to have money?” You know what, I do remember. We've never had money to blow, but we somehow managed to have a little fun without feeling like we didn't know where our next dime was coming from and I think I'd feel even worse about this whole thing if it weren't for the fact that I hear other people having the same conversation.

So! Where the next dime is coming from, I don't know. But, somehow it's a little comforting knowing we're not there alone. Other people are wondering the same thing and with everything we're seeing, natural disaster related, I still feel darn blessed to have what we have. So maybe tomorrow we won't have our home, we still have health and family (don't worry, this doesn't mean I plan on moving in with any of you).

There are people, just recently faced with natural disaster, who not long ago had a home to go to. Maybe they were in a desperate financial situation but they had family. Had. So many children left without homes or family. Parents who have no idea where their children are, relatives totally separated. Those are desperate situations.

I'm wiping my tears now. I just need to remind myself every now and then that things look bad but it could be much worse.

I suppose that if I'm going to wipe my tears I'd better stop talking to myself too. I got myself all worked up and all I really wanted to say was, now that I can take a vacation due to my reduced price to fly, I'll have to wait until I have vacation time. The mind can be a terrible thing when you let it get away from you.....


Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Oh how true every word is beautifully expressed here. We are grateful for everything we have, my job, my health, all the necessities and then some. But is is a crying shame that after all the hard work, the pay is so small in comparison to others who earn or should I say, get paid an exorbitant amount of money for catching a ball, shoving a hockey stick in someone's face or making a movie. It just isn't fair. Everyone should have health care, should be able to vacation at least once a year, and feed their kids. I am so happy that you have a job, and at least you can work while maybe preparing for the next phase that hopefully, will give you a chance to make a little more. Finally, after the completion of my Master's degree, I will be making a "lane change" to higher pay. However, for the amount of disrespect, expectations and constant scrutiny that a teacher must go through, the pay doesn't match. Oh well, having had the education is the prize in itself.

Have a relaxing and wonderful weekend with those you love!!!

Me....bunny said...'s true, there's a lot of stuff going on in the, yes, it could be worse. Hopefully in the near future when your thinking about this stuff and the tears'll be on vacation.


Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Ma chère cousine,

How nice to see you! I know that life has been crazy for you, but thanks for coming by for a little glitter, glitz and some of Sir Tristan; he is a hoot! I would love to see you do something on Flamenco when you get your computer up and running again. And yes, those gold shoes would make some awesome dance shoes!!!

Have a splendid day, Anita

Rattus Scribus said...


When you said you got a job with an airline, I guess I still foolishly had in my head visions of 1960s "stewardesses", big pay, great benes, and "Sorry dear, I won't be home. I'm stuck in Figi. It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it."

America is becoming a really hard place to make a go of it, even if you work your butt off, which come to think of it (based on your last post) not only makes us poorer but dumber too.

You're in our fondest thoughts and prayers.