Sunday, July 12, 2009
The devil made me do it!
It's 12:30 Saturday....strike that, Sunday morning. I'm getting ready for bed when I get this sudden desire to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I look at the clock and think "No! It's too late."
I set my alarm and change my clothes and then head toward the bathroom to brush my teeth, side tracked, as I so easily am, I decide I should check on Karina and Donte who are sleeping in the living room on an air mattress. Did I mention I didn't brush my teeth?
I wanted to brush my teeth but you know, if you brush them and then happen to go into the kitchen and have to eat something, you'll have to brush your teeth again. AND in an effort to support my city and it's attempt to reduce water usage I must be 100% sure I'll be going to bed directly after brushing; I wouldn't want my breath to be offensive during my sleep.
I walk quietly down the hall and into the living room where the two knuckle heads are sound asleep on the air mattress. What luck! They're asleep. "Who will know" I think as I slip past them, into the kitchen and directly to the most evil of evils, the White Bread. I'm already in a full fledged sinful state of mind as I pull out two slices from the middle of the loaf where only the freshest of evils reside. Ahhhh...it's soft to the touch and oh so wicked to the mind.
I lay the enemies cohorts side by side on a paper towel (something that can be crumpled and destroyed as quickly as I can put my two hands together, removing all evidence), take a quick glance around the kitchen corner into the living room to find the two kitchen guards fast asleep. Now's my chance, they'll never know. I grab the peanut butter and smear in on, all the while drooling at the though of my first bite. I quietly open the refrigerator and make a run with the raspberry preserves. Lord, I pray, why am I so sinful. Tears roll down my cheeks yet I cannot, no I cannot control myself. I prepare for that first bite when...could it be?!?...there's a noise in the hall. Who? Who would pee at this hour and why? I bite my tongue to keep from yelling at the top of my lungs "Just hold it till morning!", but that would draw suspicion. I slump onto a kitchen chair and wait until the weak bladdered occupant of my home has flushed and gone back to bed. There's been entirely too much time to think. By now I need chips and a coke to go with that luscious sandwich. I'm growing weaker by the moment, if I don't eat soon I'll be frying ham and eggs and throwing pancakes on the griddle too.
It's gone. Faster than I could conjure up a the whole plan to begin with, my sandwich is gone and I'm left with nothing but a paper towel and some crumbs. My mind begins to play tricks on me. I feel myself weakening as I tell myself I should eat more. THIS is hard. Jesus is speaking but I'm not listening. I'm in a bad frame of mind. I know I'm looking for the pleasures of this world and ignoring God at this moment but I'm weak....There! I've said it. I've come to the first step for recovery; "admit you have a problem".
The sandwich; was it worth it? The chips...the coke....all tools of the enemy. I understand now. But it's not my fault you know, the devil did make me do it.