1,095 FORKS

If I washed 3 forks a day for one year, I'd have washed 1,095 forks.

I know you're wondering why I picked the number three. I don't know, I just did. Maybe because I realize that sometimes there are only three of us in the house, or maybe because, on occasion, one of us won't eat. Regardless, that's a whole lot of fork washing, don't you think? And I'm using a very low number, mind you.

I'll bet your asking yourself at this very moment, "Why didn't she choose spoons?". AHA! I see your on to my game....I never thought you'd catch it. You and I both know, spoons are a whole other story. Spoons lean toward avoidance. Oh yes! They manage to get out of a lot of work, they do. Why, I remember once, I could have used a spoon, and to tell you the truth I was just about to reach for it when I thought to myself....forks already in my hand, I'm just gonna go for it. And I did! Yes indeedy, I used that fork..almost with a sense of guilt, but I could have sworn that spoon turned the other way...anyway, it just felt right at the time. Feels right most of the time. Except when there's jello. See, jello and forks, they just don't mesh. Never have. Goes way back to a time when there was a whole lot of bread pudding being made. People wanted to use a spoon because of the pudding but, fact is, the fork has always played an intricate part in the consumption of bread pudding. Why on earth anyone would ever want to change that is beyond me. Well, regardless of what the people thought they wanted to do, the fork won out and as you know, to this very day the fork is dominant at the dinner table.

But...just for conversation sake...let me just put it out there. Let's say your at a...a...a.........a quinceanera. They serve you a plate of Mole and just to make things interesting, it's the kind made with peanut butter. You take your plate, walk down to the end of the table where the plastic utensils are and you have to make a choice. What's it gonna be? Fork or spoon? This is where you're true colors come out folks. Come on, fork or spoon? Fork or spoon??

Don't go with the popular response! Go with your gut! What's it gonna be?

Okay, okay...let me come at it from this angle. Before you get to the end of the table, where the plastic utensils are, they add rice and beans to the plate...Oh! and a corn tortilla...What's it gonna be?

I feel your hesitancy but really, no one will judge you on this. This is between me and you. You and I. The two of us. What's it gonna be?

Know what? This kind of pressure just isn't for everyone. I don't want you to answer. And no, I'm not trying to work any reverse psychology on you. I'm just more in tune with my inner-self than most, so I'll tell you what I'd do...I'd do what any honest Mexican American with any brains would do. Pick up the fork (no spoon)...sit down...use the tortilla for the mole and beans. The fork for the rice and...without a spoon...pay close, close attention here...fold the plate in half, lift it up to my mouth and drink the juice.

Once again, I've proven that when it comes to forks and spoons, there's no denying which you'll wash more throughout the year. Forks hands down. I Rest my case.